Never Let Go
by mugglemama
Summary: Ron continues to experience heartache in the aftermath of the war. Can Hermione help him heal?


This was originally written for flashfic_rhr on LJ. The prompt was heartache. Read to the end! And don't forget to review - make mama happy, PLEASE!

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It was a beautiful late summer afternoon as Ron sat looking out over the pond near the Burrow. Hermione was seated next to him, having finally returned from Australia the previous evening. Ron had wanted to accompany her but he knew that his mother would be unable to handle his extended absence so soon after his brother's death and his return after almost a year away, so Harry went in his place. They had left to retrieve Hermione's parents nine weeks earlier, now the Grangers were back and so were his two best friends.

Ron could finally feel the lifting of the darkness that had surrounded his heart since the first time he placed the locket over it all those months ago. For the first time in as long as he could remember Ron could imagine a future for himself, one that prominently featured the lovely and brilliant witch beside him. He imagined kisses and cuddles, walks and long fireside chats, and more kisses, and dates and hand holding, and shagging, and more kisses, and ginger-headed children with bushy manes and brilliant minds, even more kisses and quite a lot more shagging. With a deep sigh and a look of resolve, Ron decided to make his move and claim his future.

Ron draped his arm around Hermione's shoulders, bringing her subtly closer to his body. He noticed her tense under his embrace, which unnerved him and almost caused him to lose his courage. Before the locket, she seemed to melt in his arms and he missed the feeling of her sagging into him with his whole heart. He had felt it again after Malfoy Manor, but it was not quite the same and he could not convince himself that it was because of him and not just her relief at having survived the ordeal. The feeling of her lips against him that fateful day at Hogwarts, as the battle raged on, helped him to believe it was him that caused her to dissolve. Unfortunately, the grief that encompassed his family in the aftermath of the battle had prevented any further explorations of their feelings. There were no more passionate kisses, just compassionate hugs and sympathetic words.

Just as Ron was opened his mouth to begin his declaration of love, Harry appeared out of nowhere. _Bloody Hell, Potter! You have the effing worst timing!_ Ron silently admonished his best friend. Harry sat down close to Hermione, so close in fact that a year ago Ron's jealousy would have been on high alert, but Harry had assured him that Hermione was his 'sister.' Ron had no reason to doubt his best friend's assertions, until Harry snaked his right arm around Hermione's waist. _What the Hell!_ Ron screamed in his head as he tightened his grasp around Hermione's shoulders. Harry went on to place his left hand on her abdomen and lean into her to ask, "So, have you told him our news?" Hermione didn't answer instead she shook her head in the negative and avoided Ron's eyes, preferring to stare into her lap.

"What news?" Ron found himself asking, though his brain was yelling, _Don't ask, don't ask! You don't want to know!_

Looking over Hermione's bowed head, Harry met Ron's gaze. "We're pregnant." Harry declared without even a shred of guilt or remorse. At least Hermione had the decency to appear somewhat ashamed at breaking their best friend's heart – for no one in the trio really had any doubt as to Ron's feelings for Hermione.

"Wh-what?" Ron was dumbfounded. He could feel the darkness returning, clenching his heart, and causing the most unbearable ache. Without removing his hand from her body, he learned forward to try to capture Hermione's attention. "Hermione, please" he begged, "Is this true? Are you having Harry's baby?" She still wouldn't meet his eyes she merely gave him a small nod. "When … how long?" Ron couldn't finish question. Finally looking at him she quietly replied, "I'm eight weeks along."

He felt as if one hundred dementors had taken residence in his chest and were circling his heart. He still had not removed his arm from her, wanting to hold her for as long as he could, for he now knew it would be the last time. "Australia." Ron whispered. She turned her eyes away from him again and nodded softly. "Was it your first time, your first time together?" _Why are you torturing yourself, you stupid fool! Just drop it already. Take your hands off her and leave – never look back_. Ron barely saw the small shake of her head.

"When," Ron demanded, "When did you first shag Harry?"

"Listen mate …" Harry began only to be interrupted by Ron. "Answer me Hermione – when?" He couldn't make out her mumbled response. "Speak up, Hermione," Ron demanded through gritted teeth. Hermione squared her shoulders and looked him firmly in the eye, "When you left us – when you left _me_" she responded clearly.

"Why then did you kiss me?" Ron asked quietly, trying to make sense of everything. _How could I have been so wrong, so very wrong_?

"I needed to know for sure, I needed to be certain about what I felt for Harry was different, was … more." She tried to explain.

"But he said you were like his sister." Ron tried reason.

"What was I supposed to say, Ron?" Harry asked. "You had the sword right there, I didn't know if you would hurt me, or hurt yourself. You were so broken, I couldn't add to it."

"I'm sorry Ron." Hermione tried to squirm out of his embrace, "It's just that what I feel for Harry can't compare to what I thought I felt for you. The feelings I had for you are nothing next to what I feel for Harry. Nothing." Ron continued to hold tight, his hand turning white against her shoulder. "Let go Ron, let me go!" Hermione insisted.

"Never, I'll never let go!" Ron protested "No, no, no!" pulling her closer to him.

***

"NO!" Ron's body shuttered as he clutched Hermione closer to him. Only they weren't at the pond by the Burrow, and Harry wasn't there, and it wasn't a late summer afternoon.

Ron realized that he was home, in his bed, in the middle of the night, clutching his wife's back against him as he firmly grasped her naked breast in his hand. His heartache began to subside as he took in the aroma of wife as he buried his face into her hair.

"It's okay, Ron. I'm right here." Hermione quietly reassured her husband in an attempt to calm his breathing. She placed her hand over the one on her breast and interlaced her fingers with his. "What was it this time?"

"You and Harry … shagged … I left … Australia … pregnant" was she could make out from his muffled response into her hair.

Ron's nightmares were much less frequent now than they were when they first got together. She feared he would have one tonight but had hoped their vigorous love making earlier would have helped assuage his fears. Ron had pulsed with possessiveness when he came upon her and Harry at the pub that evening. It was loud and Harry was sitting quite close and has his arms around her, congratulating her on her news, when Ron arrived. One look at her husband and she knew his old fears would resurface once asleep.

"Oh Ron." She pressed her naked body back against him. "I didn't shag Harry when you were gone that winter, did I?"

"Nnnhh" he murmured and she felt him shake his head.

"And how to you know that, Ron?" She hated to press the point, but she knew by now that his irrational nightmares required a reasoned and logical argument.

"Virgin," was all he said.

"That's right Ron, I was virgin when we were together that first night in your room." She took a deep breath and continued, "Harry didn't go to Australia with me. Who did, Ron? Who made love to me on that hotel balcony overlooking Sydney Harbour?" She pressed his hand more firmly into her breast.

"Me" he replied sheepishly.

"Right again, it was you, my love. And who did I marry?" She asked as she arched against him, rubbing herself against his growing arousal.

"Me," he whispered as he kissed her neck softly.

"And whose baby is growing inside me?" Hermione slide their joined hands from her breast to her abdomen as she spoke.

"Mine." Ron practically growled into her ear, causing her to shiver as he slid his hand down her belly to cup her between her legs. There was a time she would have scolded him for such possessiveness, but that was before she knew what fears lay in his heart, before she knew what the locket had seen there.

"Yours Ron." She rolled over to face him and began to press gentle but insistent kisses on his face. "I'm yours Ron." She kissed along his jaw. "Only yours." She placed another kiss to the hollow of his neck, licking her way to his chin. "Always yours." She met him in a deep and passionate kiss, allowing his mouth to devour hers. Hermione grabbed the sides of Ron's head and forced him to meet her eyes, "I love _you_," she told him fiercely.

"Mine," he responded with equal ferocity. "I love you," he declared as he ran his hands along her back to her bum and pressed against her.

"Don't let go, Ron. Don't let me go." She begged as she melted into his embrace.

"Never, I'll never let go," he promised before rolling her onto her back and showing his wife how much her loved her.


End file.
